Meldo

From my cousins

finish the sentence.

maybe i should get a new job or an attitude adjustment

i love the smell of rain, sharpies and a new magazine

people would say that I’m good at understanding the big picture
i don’t understand why people try to be normal

i lost my sanity, really I forgot my last name this weekend.

my past is the reason I am the person I am today - can’t complain. 

i get annoyed that my boss can’t make a decision

my idea of a good time is a good night of sleep

i wish my 2nd mortgage was paid off

Puppies are cute when they are someone else’s.
Sunshine in my eyes makes me sneeze.
tomorrow i’m going to have a really big cookie served warm from a pizza place with a friend.
i have low tolerance for people who want to complain and don’t want solutions
i’m totally terrified of being too tired to give my best
i wonder whypeople feel they have the right to publicly judge fat people, as if they don’t have their own faults

never in my life have jumped from a plane, and I really want to
high school was simply a stepping stone to real life
when i’m nervous my neck and chest turn red, also happens when I’m drunk or excited
one time at a family gathering I blamed my 4 week old son for one of my farts, he was very gassy.
take my advice: On your deathbed no one ever looks back at their life and says I wish I had worked more or watched more TV - go out an enjoy life and do something that scares you everyday.
Finishing a project and swinging on swings makes me happy.
i’m almost always under-dressed, I just prefer jeans.
i’m addicted tosushi, swiss cake rolls and these flat bread stick things.
i want someone to let me take 6 months off of work paid.

It’s been a long time but I’ve actually been busy working at work which really gets in the way of my posting.  I’ve come to the realization today that I don’t know that hard work is going to get me anywhere - at least at this job.  So I work because I mostly enjoy making people’s lives easier and I get a paycheck.  I’m here because I’m not willing to leave yet, I know I have 35 years of work to go so I’m just working on my job experiences.  Like right now I get to be really educated on fleet management software - seriously I don’t know hat I bring, I can’t even remember when I changed my oil (Steve takes care of that task) and my car has this squeaking noise when I turn and well maybe I do need some software at home to manage my 2 car fleet!

Okay I’m impressed if anyone is still reading this.  Its raining and grey and you can tell from my mood.  I need to get back on the productive train.  I was doing good with my parents, sister and cousin helping Steve (and occasionally me) work on the basement - which is looking awesome!  I think I might make it a parents/guests only for a couple of years until children are old enough to make the stairs unsupervised.  I have a vision of it being the only haven from the chaos of upstairs.  Hey, a girl can dream!!  My parents are coming back to help with the remaining pieces painting, electrical, trim and doors and the floor - they have the expertise and experience in these areas that I just don’t have. The good news is I can help more with these, except painting.

So really the reason all people (yes the 22 that have visited this site) come to read is to hear about the joys of the little person.  He’s doing great - this weekend during many visits to the park he discovered sand and rocks.  Apparently these are more exciting then slides and ramps.  Yesterday at the neighbors he found a rock and it came inside with him.  He immediatly took it to the trash, opened the lid and threw it in.  I’m not sure if I should be mad that he touched the trash (again) or focus on how adorable he is. He gets so excited to find things he thinks are trash and to throw them away - of course his definiation and my definiation of trash are very different.  Maybe I should introduce him to the laundry chute.

He also ate his first cupcake for Steve’s birthday - he thought that was pretty darn good and now most likely regrets rejecting the cake at his first birthday.  He also go his first “real” haircut which was a bust and the first time I’ve ever written a review of anything online.  He’s still cute, its just the place that sucked.  I think he’ll be back at Mom’s salon next month.  I’ll try to get some pictures up here, soon.

We also enjoyed celebrating our 4 year anniversary - a night without the boy.  It was fun to hang out and do some laughing.

I just have to rant, and I better preface this by saying that my issue may be simply because I can’t do a good search on google, target, walmart, kmart or amazon.  But I’m not so sure.  When did it become impossible to buy a kitchen garbage that has a lid that is operated by stepping on something that is made of plastic and doesn’t cost $99?  Seriously, I know they exist, my parents have one as does my sister.  I just want a trash can that helps keep my kid from putting things in there and touching stuff.  We live in a world where people just buy too much crap, who is out there supporting the purchase of trash cans over $100 that has caused the suppliers to stop carrying and selling trash cans for the lower middle class.  Seriously - its for trash people!!

On a more fun note, I left Owen playing in his room for a few minutes because he didn’t want to come downstairs, all the other door were locked and his room is kid proof and I could hear him from downstairs on the monitor.  Anyways he managed to put 2 shoebox lids, 1 giraffe, 4 cards, 10 blocks, a wooden set of stacking rings and the base, 4 stacking/nesting blocks (the rest were too large), 1 shoe, 1 Owen sock, 1 mom sock and I’m sure I’m forgetting something into, yes, you guessed it - the diaper pail.  I guess we are due for one more child safety device, I’m sure it won’t be the last.

Owen is 14 months today.  I’m sure he’s planning a great evening that goes something like this. Allllllmost touch the garbage (just looking), push button on dishwasher, slam cupboard door as hard as possible, touch garbage with one finger, pull down towels, touch garbage “accidentally”, put toy in recycling, turn the crank on the whirly pop in the cupboard, slam cupboard, open cupboard, put in toy, slam cupboard, try to fit between mommy and the cupboard.  Time of Event: While mommy is making dinner, less then 3 minutes.  Why this marathon of events? Becuase they get the best response from Mommy - especially the garbage and he’s 14 months old. 

I’m going to be optimistic and think that he must believe that the series of events that he runs through from the time he realises that I’m making food to put on a plate for him and the time he gets to get into his chair with a bib determines the type of food he gets.  So maybe the switch on the dishwasher equates to peaches - I’m sure its all very scientific and who knows maybe I am under the influence of the pattern.  (At least I feel like I’m under the influence of SOMETHING)  I’ll let you all know when he submits his findings in a formal report for review.

Owen is doing wonderfully - but running a fever here as he pushes up several more teeth - or at least one.  I’m hoping for several because I hate to see him hurting.  The good news is that with the tubes he doesn’t have the ear infections that have plagued the last sets of teeth. 

In other great news my wonderful husband has a new job!  He’ll basically be doing the same thing for a little more money, a longer commute and above all a much more secure company that did not get involved in the sub-prime housing market!!  He will be starting on March 31st after a week off assisting my dad in finishing our basement.

I took a class where they talked about how only so much work can be given to one person before they become overwhelmed and become less productive.  I think I’m past that point (it’s about a 75% work load) and stuck in traffic.  So I spend some time doing things like blogging.  Anyways I love this simulation of traffic, which also follows the load problem and I wanted to share.

http://www.mninter.net/~rjmonson/Homepage_files/Chaos/Traffic%20Sim/TrafficSim.html

Okay there are the obvious - family etc. but this is really about me discovering exactly how tactile of a person I really am.  There are just sounds and things that really give me almost chills and have fond memories.  Granted nothing compares to Owen laughing - now that’s pure joy. 

Empire #2 Pencils from childhood in pink, yellow, and blue - they had this plasticized wood and just a really smooth writing lead, plus very good erasers.  I’ve looked, but I don’t think they make them anymore - most likely some chemical that made me enjoy them so much.  And oh how they sharpened, so smooth, you could get a whole long peel of pencil.  I swoon.

Real Simple Magazine Cover and paper-stock.  I like magazines in general because I love that slight crinkle when you turn the page, but Real Simple is like the premium.  I can feel the cover under my fingers right now.

A good seal - that releasing sound when you open a fridge or freezer with a good seal.

 Cable Ties - they are just wonderful, how they click when you slide them together.  But I’m disappointed every-time that I can’t back them up and enjoy them all over again.  Maybe it’d be different if I actually used them for a real purpose, but I don’t have any.

My wedding dress - I loved the feel of the heavy silky fabric, I’d wear it more to clean if it still fit just because it is so touchable. 

Alright that is all I can think of for now, but the list goes on.  I was just lamenting because I was sharpening a pencil for no reason, except I found an unsharpened pencil and a pencil sharpener in my drawer and I really didn’t feel like working.  This reminds me of the pencils I have known and loved.  Now I have moved on to mechanical pencils, they also have a great smooth feel when writing.

Its a little strange to publish the true thoughts in my odd little mind - its like letting the secret out that I think WAAAAY to much about things.  Like these churches there are 3 of them on a commute I used to take and I used to analyze them to decide if they turned into some sort of transformers (for their respective gods) which one would win in a battle.  Would it be the stout one or the one with the viscous looking, but possibly brittle spire?

Its been 6 weeks since Owen had his tubes in and its amazing what an impact that has had on our lives.  He actually had a cold (along with the rest of the family) a couple of weeks ago and I think it might actually be ending without antibiotics and a trip to the doctor!  Knock on wood.  It’s great to just have a normal kid, well as normal as anyone related to me can be, who is focusing on great new skills like talking, building towers, hugging his teddy bear, putting things in and out and closing and opening any container and of course running!  I asked yesterday at school what he likes to do when he’s out in the gym, does he go on the slides etc - which he does do but I guess his favorite is to run from one end of the gym to the other and back again!  I guess sometimes he pushes something like a large block or a wheeled cart and thinks it is the best thing ever.  Do you remember the last time you ran across the room for the simple joy of running?  or doing anything for that matter for the simple joy of it?  I’m pretty sure the last time I was running indoors was in hopes of preventing some catastrophe and I think it has been difficult to find those things that are just joyful.  I think the one thing that Is just joyful for me would have to be swinging and maybe roller coasters.  Oh how I long for summer, or at least spring! 

Okay I was a kid that mostly had to stick to listening to the radio in order to tape my favorite songs, so I didn’t purchase my first music until I was in maybe 6th grade.  I did however enjoy listening to music that my sisters introduced me to.  The first time I ever spent my own hard earned money on music (and yes, I’m old enough that it was a tape and no not an 8-track) I purchased two tapes at Kohl’s department store - the coolest place to buy music I’m sure!

They were Echo and the Bunneymen and Madonna.  What was the first music you purchased?

I finally got the pictures from Owen’s first birthday in Milwaukee.  We forgot to take our camera, so these are from the wonderful hosts!  I know there were pictures of the frosting covered child, but I guess I missed them on this disk or did something else fancy to misplace them.  I say he did pretty good for a kid with an earache who didn’t sleep a lick the night before (nor did any of the adults for that matter)  Thanks again for everyone who was able to join us.  We apologize for all of the late announcements - I think we are cursed in the mass mailing department.  With this one it turns out that they were trying to send it to the house where the party was being held rather then the attendee!  If anyone knows our scare with the wedding invitations, you understand why we might be cursed.  I’m also thinking about using this as an excuse as to why I haven’t mailed christmas cards yet - and seriously I haven’t given up hope yet - it may happen!

 It was a great day - and now it’s already been another month!  Where does the time go?

Owen Eats Lunch

Owen Opens Gifts

Owen and his Crown (Thanks Gwendolyn)!

A couple of weeks ago I spent my first weekend completely sans son.  I think the best part was the 10 hours spent alone in the car - I haven’t been truly alone for a long time and when you consider that I’m a cancer and like to pull into my shell on occasion, its just been too long.  The other great part about the car trip is that I forgot my current selections of CDs and only had my old CDs starting from my first CD from I believe 1987 - Guns N Roses Appetite for Destruction.  It really turned into a tour of my life post age 12, many songs and some whole CDs truly capture the essence of who I was at that time, what I was dealing with in my life and brings back many raw emotions.

One that surprised me the most was a song that my friend Heidi used to sing when we were in our freshmen year of college.  She’d put on her red twizzlers t-shirt, lower the lights (the t-shirt had glow in the dark lips on it - makes mouth happy!) and through the haze would perform her lounge act.  One song that she would always sing was Screaming Jets - Shiver, which is very resonant, deep and warm.  It’s a metal band from Australia where she had travelled in high school. I remember it with great contentment and joy and the power she would sing it with.  I was very surprised to listen to it again and the first lyrics are “I’ve been contemplating suicide, but it really doesn’t suit my style, so I’ll just act bored instead, to contain the blood I should have shead…”  It just interests me that I remember it so positively and clearly it is depressing - but it is still a great song to sing at the top of your lungs driving too fast on the freeway.  That’s my favorite part of most any song - my car never cares if I’m off key and if I look a fool, I most likely won’t see that fool I’m passing again ever anyways!

I think it would be fascinating to put together a series of the songs that have meaning in my life as a commentary/diary of me.  I guess in my spare time.  Of course I don’t know how to publish bits of a song without getting fines otherwise I’d have put a link up to this ballad.

 As a side note for those who get concerned about these things - no my friend and I were not interesting in suicide, nor in any danger of doing so.  Even in my darkest hours, which we have all had, I’ve felt it to be selfish - because I knew it would break people who love me - which gave me strength because I have always known that I am loved.

 Sorry for the darkness, I’ll get back to the whimsical trials of raising a 12 month old and some birthday pictures here - maybe even later today!